The Passions
Porn, drink, weed, food, the phone. The things that own you.
Do I really have to become meek and humble to be a Christian?
We read the Beatitudes at every liturgy, and whenever I hear them I find myself challenged: how much of the gospel do I actually believe, and how much do I really want to live?
Why does God feel absent from my heart?
St Paul says we have to empty ourselves. Kenosis in the Greek. We get so jammed up with all this stuff that takes up space in our heart: bitterness, unforgiveness, resentments, hurts,...
Is money itself spiritually dangerous?
There's a great scene in The Hobbit where one of the dwarves says, "There's a curse on this gold." This gold is cursed. But the reality is that all gold is kind of cursed.
Where does my anxiety actually come from?
I've personally dealt with massive amounts of anxiety, and most of what we learn in life is learned through our own struggles.
How do I let go of control and find peace?
The peace freak, according to the Holy Fathers, is somebody who is only looking to control their peace, not to control life.
Is smoking weed really that bad for you?
Weed falls into what I call Loserville. It is just pathetic. It ruins your mind, you can't think straight, you can't cope with reality.
How bad is drinking compared to other addictions?
Booze is definitely playing with fire. On one end of the spectrum it can be completely benign, a normal part of your life. On the other end you can end up in the lake of fire with it.
How bad is drug addiction spiritually?
Drugs are the one addiction I have probably lost the most of my friends to, and I would absolutely say this is in the Lake of Fire.
Is hookup culture actually harmful?
Sex addiction, the dating culture, the hookup game: this is an easy one. It is the Lake of Fire.
Are psychedelics spiritually dangerous?
Psychedelics, opening the third eye: I rank this as playing with fire. Some people are going to end up in the grip of the devil, one hundred percent.
How do you break free from an addiction?
Number one is prayer, specifically the Jesus prayer. This can never be overemphasized. In the first stages, the assault and the coupling, before I get to consent, I want to be in the...
I relapsed after months of sobriety - what now?
There's a wonderful saying from the church fathers: to fall is human, to repent is divine. The demons fall all the time, but they never repent. We fall many times in this life.
How does porn change the way I see women?
When men force their minds to see women like this on the screens, then every woman they look at in life is some variation of that.
How do I actually quit porn?
Three things. Number one, establish a daily life of prayer, morning and evening, because this temptation is so strong it cannot be overcome without the help of God.
Why is it a problem to have imaginary conversations in your head?
I tell this funny joke. You are driving in Austin and you see some crazy person talking to a stop sign, and you think, that person is crazy, they are talking to a stop sign.
I keep confessing the same sin and falling again. How do people actually break free?
The great irony is that many people come to confession with the sense: I'm going to do this again, I know I'm going to fall again.
Is having a lustful thought a sin?
The holy fathers tell us that if we have a lustful thought, it is just a lustful thought. That is it. There's no sin in it.
How do I fight lustful thoughts with prayer?
When I say prayer, I don't mean simply saying, God help me. That's not really enough. We need the Jesus Prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.
How do I find peace when life keeps triggering me?
The Christian life is to find peace in the midst of the temptations: taking hold of our thoughts, directing our hearts to Christ, relying on him, trusting him even in the uncertainty...
What does it mean to empty yourself to follow Christ?
I asked the bishop about his elder, and he shared this. Before he left to tell his father he wanted to dedicate himself to monasticism, they read the Gospel passage of the rich young...
Is it wrong to make big plans for my life?
It's not healthy for us to have plans in mind for our life. It's normal to have a desire. It's normal to strive to do our best. It's important to leave the results up to God.
Why am I really addicted to porn?
For most people, lust addiction is a desire, a craving, almost a compulsion to look at things on the internet, to engage in mental fantasy about sexuality, and then to follow through...
Will I ever stop struggling with lust completely?
I never want to use the word overcome, because the reality is you're going to be battling it for the rest of your life. The battle becomes different, though.
Why can't I quit porn even though I go to confession?
As a precondition, you have to have some sense of anger: anger that pornography and fantasy do not define who you are, and that they are pathetic, unmanly activities to be involved in.
How do I stay pure one day at a time?
You have to have a sense of perfection. This does not mean you're going to be perfect in regard to the temptations of lust.
How often should I go to confession if I'm struggling with porn?
Accountability needs to be day by day, week by week. I remember a young man who overcame his addiction to pornography simply because his priest told him: every time you are going to...
How do prayer and fasting help against lust?
Prayer, and any time we talk about prayer we really mean prayer and fasting. These are the spiritual disciplines that bring the grace of the Holy Spirit.
What is penance for sexual sin in the Orthodox Church?
We need penance. Everyone works like this, but especially us men: we need to know there is a discipline involved when we commit a sin we shouldn't be doing.
Why do I keep sinning no matter how hard I fight the sin itself?
The best analogy I have is somebody who's coughing. They say, I've got to get rid of this cough, Father. I say, whoa, why, what is it?
What do the lilies of the field teach about how I look and what I own?
Christ goes on: why do you take thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They toil not, neither do they spin.
What does the parable of the unmerciful servant mean?
In Matthew 18 Christ says the kingdom of heaven is likened to a certain king who would take account of his servants, and the king is Christ.
Why do I always need to be right in arguments?
So many men need to be right all the time. They need to prove their point in arguments, they can't stand being corrected, and they have to prove to other people that they're always in...
What actually works for staying pure and beating lust?
There are three main components for purity. Number one is prayer: morning and evening prayers, being diligently dialed in to those prayers, not skipping them, not skipping a day, not...
Is it judging someone to acknowledge they have a real problem, like drinking too much?
If you know somebody who drinks too much, it is objectively true that they drink too much. That's an objective fact, and that isn't judging them.