How do I let go of control and find peace?

The peace freak, according to the Holy Fathers, is somebody who is only looking to control their peace, not to control life. That is the fundamental shift, and it is predicated on one reality: we have to abandon ourselves to God. We let go of the desired outcomes and hold on to the one thing that is needful, our connection with God, by abandoning ourselves to his will.

We take our hands off the steering wheel of life and say, I can only do the best I can do, and I'm going to leave the results up to God. God has given everyone free will, and people's free will sometimes dictates that they won't go along with our plan. That's okay, because we don't need life to be perfect in order to be at peace. The underlying lie of the control freak is: if life is exactly the way I want it, I will be at peace.

The great irony is that the person who continually tries to control life has the least peace. The maturation process is becoming, as Bishop Emilianos often says, the log floating on the ocean of life. The log doesn't dictate where it goes. Life will push you around in ways you don't want, but with acceptance and abandonment, God is still present. He has not taken his eye off of you.

Even through the bad circumstances, he molds us into the person he desires us to become. His will is hidden, his secret will, and he doesn't reveal the big plan at the beginning. But when we live with abandonment to God's will, we can become addicted to the peace. The one trying to control is trying to find peace and finds only anxiety. The one who seeks peace by abandonment gets to abide in peacefulness in the will of our holy God, our true father.