Manhood

What do I do when nobody believes in me?

You have to make that shift in life where you say, I can't control everything that happened in my childhood, but I'm an adult now, and from this point forward I have to make the...

Why does my life feel meaningless if I'm not changing the world?

People like yourself who grew up in the public school system were told you had to change the world, that you had to do something enormous with your life.

Is an ordinary job and family life enough to be meaningful?

Yes. People think they have to cure cancer to have a meaningful job, but everything has been divorced from normalcy. A normal man should have a normal life: a wife and children.

What makes a man successful if not money and status?

Look at the life of Christ. When you boil it down, Christ says in the gospel, I came to serve, not to be served. That is the essence of being a man.

How do I actually become happy?

As long as you're looking for something in your life to be different, trying to fix the things or the people around you in order to make yourself happy, you'll never be happy.

Should I build my career before getting married?

Alongside finding a wife, you need to be building a career, but that is not going to happen overnight. When I was 20 years old, I got married. When I was 21, I went to college.

What makes a man successful after failure?

When you watch entrepreneurs, a lot of them will say, I had five businesses that failed and the sixth one succeeded.

What actually makes someone a real man?

The number one thing to keep in mind is that we are made in the image of God. When you see one of my sons, you say: that looks like a little Father Moses.

What is the manliest thing a man can do?

If somebody asked me the most manly thing to do in the entire world, I would say it's prayer. It's silence. Hands down. Silence is the destroyer of all boys.

Why do I need a spiritual father?

Life is like a labyrinth, especially in your 20s and early 30s: trying to find a spouse, find a career, make enough money, constantly running into T's where you have to decide right or...

How do I accept myself without excusing my flaws?

Acceptance. Somebody said acceptance is the key to all of my problems today, and in your younger years it's acceptance of self.

How do you stay a good friend when others don't put in the same effort?

If you want to be a spectacular friend to other people, you have to understand that you are going to be a better friend than they are.

Does lookmaxing actually make men more attractive to women?

If you want to maximize your looks: eat food, stay relatively lean, and go to the gym. Other than that, you're going to create a narcissistic personality where you're self-obsessed,...

Where is a man supposed to find his worth?

The underlying problem is that men in our culture are obsessed with finding their value. It doesn't matter if it's the guy with the cars and the Bugatti, the guy with women all around...

Is lookmaxing manly?

Lookmaxing is D-tier. It's important to smell good, look put together, and take care of yourself.

How compassionate should a man be?

I would rank compassion B-tier. It's not the most important thing to have. It's important to understand where people are coming from, their strengths and weaknesses, and to adjust...

Why is self-control so important for men?

Self-control for a man is definitely S-tier. Men are not as emotionally inclined as women, and a huge part of that is just biological.

How do I stop caring what people think of me?

You have to free yourself as a man from what everyone around you thinks. You're going to have a couple of people in your life whose opinion of you matters: your spiritual father, your...

Is it bad that I'm not always emotionally steady?

I'd love to rank emotional steadiness S-tier, but the reality is it's more like A-tier. It's important, but you're going to be fighting for emotional steadiness your whole life.

How important is loyalty in a man?

Loyalty to your wife, your children, your friends, and the people around you is S-tier. You can't have a real impact as a man if you're double-minded or you flee at the first instance...

Should I always tell people exactly what I think?

Not exactly. Not lying, telling the truth in every circumstance, that is S-tier, and it's part of being a person of integrity.

Why do I feel lonely even though I'm married with kids?

I had a great question in our Skool Q&A the other day. One of the guys asked me, Father, I feel lonely in my life even though I am married and have kids.

Who should a man share his burdens with if not his wife?

Part of the cure of loneliness is your brotherhood, the people you can rely on. As a priest, who do I rely on? Other priests. I do not rely on my parishioners to carry my burdens.

How should a man handle adversity without falling apart emotionally?

This is something men really struggle with. We as men do not like adversity. When we have adversity, men very easily go into their feelings.