Didn't Christ suffer on the cross so we don't have to?

Somebody told me about 12 years ago that what I didn't understand about Christianity was that Christ died on the cross so that we don't have to. I said, if that's the case, the apostles didn't get the memo, because 11 of the 12 were martyred, and St John the Theologian was burned over his body. They understood there was a direct correlation between following Christ and suffering.

A fellow priest once said to me, Western Christianity is crossless Christianity. The idea that Christ suffered so we don't have to is completely foreign to the early church, which was full of martyrs, and even their children were martyrs. There is a historical writing that says the Christians rejoiced when their children were martyred, because they knew their children went straight to paradise.

What does Christ say? If you want to follow me, deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me. The self-denial is a suffering: moving from my will to God's will, my desires to God's desires. And there's a deeper understanding of taking up your cross: nobody just walks around with a cross for their entire life. When Christ picked up his cross, he was going to a destination, and that destination was crucifixion, Golgotha.

Christ says clearly, if they hated me, they will hate you. The rejection and the difficulties, even unto shedding our blood, are a natural and essential component of the Christian life. Christianity without any type of martyrdom isn't real Christianity.